Saturday, October 15, 2005
SIF on Brinda Karat
Another post by SIF:
ON BRINDA KARAT
We strongly condemn Brinda Karat for her outrageous and inhuman remarks during her campaign to belittle the abuse of mother-in-laws, elders and even young children. She has set new records of human indecency by ridiculing the grotesque forms of domestic violence that mother-in-laws, elders and even young children have been subjected to by abusive daughter-in-laws who are blatantly misusing IPC 498A.
It is perverted logic that justifies the contemplated domestic violence laws that ignores the fact that mother-in-laws sisters and nieces are women too, and is unwilling to allow the men even basic human rights let alone equal rights. As always, violence against men by women goes un-recognised and under-reported. For the real women victims of domestic violence (mother-in-laws, sisters and nieces)this carries a deadly message : remain silent sufferers and indeed expect further un-checked attacks by abusive daughter-in-laws. For those who rule India today, past atrocities (including perceived and exaggerated) against women (and some by other manipulative women), rather than providing lessons for Governments to ensure preventive measures to protect both genders, become precedents to legitimize present and future domestic violence against women, elderly and even children. Has Ms. Karat met any of the victims and heard their terrible stories, before she misused her powers to challenge the veracity of their statements. Has she ever tried to investigate the truth about the abusive daughter-in-laws who, along with their helpers are brutalising other women, elderly and even children? She has not. She has not verified the truth from the victims.
Ms. Brinda Karat has caused enough damage to Indian families by her
shameful defence of the criminal daughter-in-laws behind the domestic violence. Her latest manipulations will further hurt the sentiments and deepen the insecurities of the lakhs of victims waiting for justice. A woman like her should find no place in any society even in one as compromised as this one.
ON BRINDA KARAT
We strongly condemn Brinda Karat for her outrageous and inhuman remarks during her campaign to belittle the abuse of mother-in-laws, elders and even young children. She has set new records of human indecency by ridiculing the grotesque forms of domestic violence that mother-in-laws, elders and even young children have been subjected to by abusive daughter-in-laws who are blatantly misusing IPC 498A.
It is perverted logic that justifies the contemplated domestic violence laws that ignores the fact that mother-in-laws sisters and nieces are women too, and is unwilling to allow the men even basic human rights let alone equal rights. As always, violence against men by women goes un-recognised and under-reported. For the real women victims of domestic violence (mother-in-laws, sisters and nieces)this carries a deadly message : remain silent sufferers and indeed expect further un-checked attacks by abusive daughter-in-laws. For those who rule India today, past atrocities (including perceived and exaggerated) against women (and some by other manipulative women), rather than providing lessons for Governments to ensure preventive measures to protect both genders, become precedents to legitimize present and future domestic violence against women, elderly and even children. Has Ms. Karat met any of the victims and heard their terrible stories, before she misused her powers to challenge the veracity of their statements. Has she ever tried to investigate the truth about the abusive daughter-in-laws who, along with their helpers are brutalising other women, elderly and even children? She has not. She has not verified the truth from the victims.
Ms. Brinda Karat has caused enough damage to Indian families by her
shameful defence of the criminal daughter-in-laws behind the domestic violence. Her latest manipulations will further hurt the sentiments and deepen the insecurities of the lakhs of victims waiting for justice. A woman like her should find no place in any society even in one as compromised as this one.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
To let you in on my mental state: by Kavi
Another friend of mine has been bitten by his wicked wife...... A post by him (named Kavi)
To let you in on my mental state:
Sometimes, I go through massive stages of despair and helplessness.
Sometimes, I feel so angry I want to burn down everything we
ever owned.
Sometimes, I feel calm like a rock. At that time, she robbed me as I
go up the economic ladder. It is better to be robbed when you have
saved 100K instead of having 1MIL. Then, I think it took me 10 years
to save 100K. With a decent lifestyle, you only can save approx
10-15% a year.
But, at no times, I feel normal and that is what terrifies me. Am I
doomed like this for rest of my life?
I have no doubt in my mind that she is not happy. She did love me
and at some point in our life, she had completely meshed with me.
But, it is greed that is fed into her from somewhere. Her material
cravings as a woman and wanting it fast(now) are increasing with
age to make it worse.
At current state of anger, She wants divorce only if she is able to
break me. But with her away from my life, I find myself laughing
and that really infuriates her.
She wants me to do some mistake thaht she can catch. She wants
me to go to prostitute. She cannot believe that guy like me who wanted
to have sex with her all the time can live without cravings for sex. She
cannot find one friend of mine who she can use to tell me to do what she
wants me to do.
All of this, while her bank fraud and theft are getting worse and worse by her lack of understanding reality. Someday, police will catch up to her.
What will happen of my daughter then?
Will I become like my FIL in 15 years time and try to rob
young men who come her way and make her life hell too?
All I now understand is "Desperations create criminals". I don't know how,
why, when she became desperate living with me. I was too busy working
to earn to secure all our material stuff. Now she has moved through it like
a knife through butter and I don't know whether to force her to stop or just cheer her to do it fast and get it done and over with.
Somehow, I am optimistic in all this. She cannot steal the knowledge
with which I earned all the trappings. Sanskrit shloka sums it up well.
Na chorya harte, na raj karyam
na bhatru bhajyam vyaye krute vardhate evem vidhya,
vidhyadhanam sarva dhanam pradhanam
To let you in on my mental state:
Sometimes, I go through massive stages of despair and helplessness.
Sometimes, I feel so angry I want to burn down everything we
ever owned.
Sometimes, I feel calm like a rock. At that time, she robbed me as I
go up the economic ladder. It is better to be robbed when you have
saved 100K instead of having 1MIL. Then, I think it took me 10 years
to save 100K. With a decent lifestyle, you only can save approx
10-15% a year.
But, at no times, I feel normal and that is what terrifies me. Am I
doomed like this for rest of my life?
I have no doubt in my mind that she is not happy. She did love me
and at some point in our life, she had completely meshed with me.
But, it is greed that is fed into her from somewhere. Her material
cravings as a woman and wanting it fast(now) are increasing with
age to make it worse.
At current state of anger, She wants divorce only if she is able to
break me. But with her away from my life, I find myself laughing
and that really infuriates her.
She wants me to do some mistake thaht she can catch. She wants
me to go to prostitute. She cannot believe that guy like me who wanted
to have sex with her all the time can live without cravings for sex. She
cannot find one friend of mine who she can use to tell me to do what she
wants me to do.
All of this, while her bank fraud and theft are getting worse and worse by her lack of understanding reality. Someday, police will catch up to her.
What will happen of my daughter then?
Will I become like my FIL in 15 years time and try to rob
young men who come her way and make her life hell too?
All I now understand is "Desperations create criminals". I don't know how,
why, when she became desperate living with me. I was too busy working
to earn to secure all our material stuff. Now she has moved through it like
a knife through butter and I don't know whether to force her to stop or just cheer her to do it fast and get it done and over with.
Somehow, I am optimistic in all this. She cannot steal the knowledge
with which I earned all the trappings. Sanskrit shloka sums it up well.
Na chorya harte, na raj karyam
na bhatru bhajyam vyaye krute vardhate evem vidhya,
vidhyadhanam sarva dhanam pradhanam
illusion verses reality: time to wake up.
Another posting by Mihir, hats-off to him, he has articulated it well...
Since childhood we have been told that women must be respected and revered for their purity, supportive nature and a care-taker. A picture of an ideal woman was formed in our heart and we continue to embellish that image in your heart till you find that ideal woman. Till youth, we are always looking for that ideal woman who will act as a back-bone of our life. But only after marriage, we realise that women are no longer women. Only after marriage we realise that the picture we formed in our heart for an ideal woman was all fake. It was an illusion. But the image was so vivid and deep-rooted that we can't believe that it was just an illusion. We don't let that image vanish with the experience we get from women. We still hope that the ideal woman do exist. This is how we most of the time contradict our own mind. Our mind says that the ideal women is an illusion and our heart says that never let this image disappear. Thousands of 498A victims are in this contradiction. They just have one option that they must forget the whole episode and move on with life. They won't even bother to seek information on other victims and share their experience and do something to stop this misuse. Very few 498a victims have the courage to stop this injustice and come forward to join this group. It is scientifically proved that men are more sensitive and emotional than women. So most men succumb to the emotional pressure and forget everything and try to start their life afresh. It is disappointing to observe that a man doesn't want to help another man.
Mihir
Since childhood we have been told that women must be respected and revered for their purity, supportive nature and a care-taker. A picture of an ideal woman was formed in our heart and we continue to embellish that image in your heart till you find that ideal woman. Till youth, we are always looking for that ideal woman who will act as a back-bone of our life. But only after marriage, we realise that women are no longer women. Only after marriage we realise that the picture we formed in our heart for an ideal woman was all fake. It was an illusion. But the image was so vivid and deep-rooted that we can't believe that it was just an illusion. We don't let that image vanish with the experience we get from women. We still hope that the ideal woman do exist. This is how we most of the time contradict our own mind. Our mind says that the ideal women is an illusion and our heart says that never let this image disappear. Thousands of 498A victims are in this contradiction. They just have one option that they must forget the whole episode and move on with life. They won't even bother to seek information on other victims and share their experience and do something to stop this misuse. Very few 498a victims have the courage to stop this injustice and come forward to join this group. It is scientifically proved that men are more sensitive and emotional than women. So most men succumb to the emotional pressure and forget everything and try to start their life afresh. It is disappointing to observe that a man doesn't want to help another man.
Mihir
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
'how can she do this to us'
Guys,
As a kid when we used to have a aggrasive physical fight in school, we used to hit each other at places which would be non-fatal or would not bleed. Around college, I saw 'gunda' element hitting people where they would bleed or hurt really bad (ex. eyes, nose, ear, head, groin....).
The analogy is, we are not like 'gunda' element who would do such a horrendous thing (498a) like our counter parts have done or are in the process of doing it. It is not easy for us to live peacefully with ourself learning how to hate.
We are taught to
a) believe blindly in wife after marraige
b) Keep the marriage through, so called tough times.
c) be polite and give respect to wife at all time (she is 'bahu')
d) love her and treat her well...
No matter how hard you try to change yourself, the ingrained value system does not let us fall down to 'her' level. This is the main reason why we do not understand 'how can she do it to us'.
- Satya
As a kid when we used to have a aggrasive physical fight in school, we used to hit each other at places which would be non-fatal or would not bleed. Around college, I saw 'gunda' element hitting people where they would bleed or hurt really bad (ex. eyes, nose, ear, head, groin....).
The analogy is, we are not like 'gunda' element who would do such a horrendous thing (498a) like our counter parts have done or are in the process of doing it. It is not easy for us to live peacefully with ourself learning how to hate.
We are taught to
a) believe blindly in wife after marraige
b) Keep the marriage through, so called tough times.
c) be polite and give respect to wife at all time (she is 'bahu')
d) love her and treat her well...
No matter how hard you try to change yourself, the ingrained value system does not let us fall down to 'her' level. This is the main reason why we do not understand 'how can she do it to us'.
- Satya
