Wednesday, October 12, 2005
To let you in on my mental state: by Kavi
Another friend of mine has been bitten by his wicked wife...... A post by him (named Kavi)
To let you in on my mental state:
Sometimes, I go through massive stages of despair and helplessness.
Sometimes, I feel so angry I want to burn down everything we
ever owned.
Sometimes, I feel calm like a rock. At that time, she robbed me as I
go up the economic ladder. It is better to be robbed when you have
saved 100K instead of having 1MIL. Then, I think it took me 10 years
to save 100K. With a decent lifestyle, you only can save approx
10-15% a year.
But, at no times, I feel normal and that is what terrifies me. Am I
doomed like this for rest of my life?
I have no doubt in my mind that she is not happy. She did love me
and at some point in our life, she had completely meshed with me.
But, it is greed that is fed into her from somewhere. Her material
cravings as a woman and wanting it fast(now) are increasing with
age to make it worse.
At current state of anger, She wants divorce only if she is able to
break me. But with her away from my life, I find myself laughing
and that really infuriates her.
She wants me to do some mistake thaht she can catch. She wants
me to go to prostitute. She cannot believe that guy like me who wanted
to have sex with her all the time can live without cravings for sex. She
cannot find one friend of mine who she can use to tell me to do what she
wants me to do.
All of this, while her bank fraud and theft are getting worse and worse by her lack of understanding reality. Someday, police will catch up to her.
What will happen of my daughter then?
Will I become like my FIL in 15 years time and try to rob
young men who come her way and make her life hell too?
All I now understand is "Desperations create criminals". I don't know how,
why, when she became desperate living with me. I was too busy working
to earn to secure all our material stuff. Now she has moved through it like
a knife through butter and I don't know whether to force her to stop or just cheer her to do it fast and get it done and over with.
Somehow, I am optimistic in all this. She cannot steal the knowledge
with which I earned all the trappings. Sanskrit shloka sums it up well.
Na chorya harte, na raj karyam
na bhatru bhajyam vyaye krute vardhate evem vidhya,
vidhyadhanam sarva dhanam pradhanam
To let you in on my mental state:
Sometimes, I go through massive stages of despair and helplessness.
Sometimes, I feel so angry I want to burn down everything we
ever owned.
Sometimes, I feel calm like a rock. At that time, she robbed me as I
go up the economic ladder. It is better to be robbed when you have
saved 100K instead of having 1MIL. Then, I think it took me 10 years
to save 100K. With a decent lifestyle, you only can save approx
10-15% a year.
But, at no times, I feel normal and that is what terrifies me. Am I
doomed like this for rest of my life?
I have no doubt in my mind that she is not happy. She did love me
and at some point in our life, she had completely meshed with me.
But, it is greed that is fed into her from somewhere. Her material
cravings as a woman and wanting it fast(now) are increasing with
age to make it worse.
At current state of anger, She wants divorce only if she is able to
break me. But with her away from my life, I find myself laughing
and that really infuriates her.
She wants me to do some mistake thaht she can catch. She wants
me to go to prostitute. She cannot believe that guy like me who wanted
to have sex with her all the time can live without cravings for sex. She
cannot find one friend of mine who she can use to tell me to do what she
wants me to do.
All of this, while her bank fraud and theft are getting worse and worse by her lack of understanding reality. Someday, police will catch up to her.
What will happen of my daughter then?
Will I become like my FIL in 15 years time and try to rob
young men who come her way and make her life hell too?
All I now understand is "Desperations create criminals". I don't know how,
why, when she became desperate living with me. I was too busy working
to earn to secure all our material stuff. Now she has moved through it like
a knife through butter and I don't know whether to force her to stop or just cheer her to do it fast and get it done and over with.
Somehow, I am optimistic in all this. She cannot steal the knowledge
with which I earned all the trappings. Sanskrit shloka sums it up well.
Na chorya harte, na raj karyam
na bhatru bhajyam vyaye krute vardhate evem vidhya,
vidhyadhanam sarva dhanam pradhanam
