Wednesday, March 15, 2006

 

498a girls and Borderline personality disorder (BPD)

There is one aspect even the lawyers or parents on either side don’t catch on much. General depression arising out insecurity (due to lack of knowledge or insight into the husband’s world, especially if NRI) and out of bad treatment by parents (parents don’t start using their daughters for money out of the blue… there must be a long pattern of treating their daughter as a burden to be unshed) lead to a complicated psychological condition in many brides, called the Borderline Personality Disorder. Am not saying all brides are depressed or all have BPD but you must wonder what makes a person drive to an ultimate impulsive act of putting her lifestory in police books and harming her husband irreparably. Vengeance alone is not enough. It prepares the grounds. Her mental condition, commonly equated with what psychologists call self-destruction, help pull the trigger. You know this when her craziness wears out in a few days and she start begging you to take back, that she made a mistake in filing the case, etc. etc. Remember, all of that comes with a lot of lying and making you believe her emotionally.

So how do you deal with a person like that? It is not just withdrawing the liberties… for the withdrawal leads to the craziness of 498A or any other equally hurtful dramas. For those who live with that condition, it is recognized that it feels like “walking on egg shells” all the time with this person. There is a good book “I hate you, Don’t leave me”. Don’t be over enthusiastic in applying the criteria to your spouse. Not all fit the bill, but many do especially in the NRI situation where their dormant mental condition is flared by the separation that triggers the fear of abandonment.

Keep in mind filing a 498A is either a sign of an ultimately clueless person with enormous psychological issues or a very rational/brilliant person who wants to harm you real bad. In either case, you are not dealing with a person who values relationships as something sacred to be worked on. They have grown up all their life in taking relationships for granted. So, there is nothing you can do make this person understand “taking away the liberties” short of they going through knocks for many years, realizing how they were used by their parents to make money, how the parents failed but they destroyed their marriage (and even if they have another guy lined up, their conscience will chase them all their life). The only punishment you can give to a woman like that is to let her get old begging for you and let her file complaints against her own parents if she still claims she did not want to put you in jail.

In the end, once the 498 is filed the issue is simple. This is a person who wanted to jail you. If you give them a chance, they get the signal to respect you even less and hurt you hard anytime they don’t get their way.


Sanjay

Comments:
NRI lost interest and respect for the place when recently got into this trap. Previously was visiting India regularly and also contrubuted at places of need. Totally innocent but now even scared to place information here with name and address.....simply because you never know what can happen. My life is valued by me and dont want it ruined by some thugs when such law exists in India. Can we please have more Gandhis from the politicians of India? Gandhi opened this employment.....that is Official Indian Politics. So let us give something in return to HIM please. UK Guy.
 
Indians

SOME VERY IMPRESSIVE FACTS ABOUT INDIANS IN USA !!!

There are 3.22 Million Indians in America

38% of Doctors in America are Indians.

12% of Scientists in America are Indians.

36% of NASA employees are Indians.

34% of MICROSOFT employees are Indians

28% of IBM employees are Indians

17% of INTEL employees are Indians

13% of XEROX employees are Indians

23% of Indian Community in America is having Green-Card'

Above information from an email

So why they went to USA in the first place?
Why so many more still want to go to USA and UK in 2006?
WAKE UP INDIA.
 
They used to say when you marry a lady, the 2 families also get married. The problems get sorted out by the 2 families. But remember now…..REMEMBER…..NRI guy and and others dont only marry an Indian lady from India but also marries the Indian police, who are the first ones to arrest you before you are found guilty. Why we blame the law? The law is there. The people who put the law in place are the ones to take the responsibility. So why marry an lady from India in the first place
 
Arre...yahin to dhokha kha gaya India..
 
FROM THIS 498A SECTION AND HOW IT WORKS, IT SEEMS THAT IT IS VERY VERY SAFE FOR AN INDIAN LADY FROM INDIA TO MARRY AN INDIAN POLICE-MAN, INDIAN MAN LAWYER, INDIAN MAN JUDGE. .....ARE THEY ALL PERFECT AND UNTOUCHABLE BY THE LAW???!!! AND IS THE REST OF THE MEN POPULATION UNTOUCHABLE BY THE WOMEN POPULATION???!!! UK PERSON.
 
Lot needs to be done to have good population of men police, men lawyers, men judges etc before letting these women go to these men. I say this because men are not trusted as per the law. It is like a case where a woman law maker is sending a poor cow to a lion hoping that the lion is a vegetarian. Note for the law maker (specially the female law maker):- Please first sort out other problems before this creates more problems for the society. UK Guy
 
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